Please check my pagagraph about the plot of the criminal genius

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ThaoNgan
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Please check my pagagraph about the plot of the criminal genius

Post by ThaoNgan »

Have you ever thought that a ballpoint pen could kill a person? It is a ridiculous thinking but It happened . The criminal observes everything that is happening on the road. He sees a woman giving money to a beggar and buying flowers while she is on her way to work. He started his conspiracy by putting a ballpoint pen into the mailbox. And the pen started some kind of chain reaction. First, the car ran through the puddle causing water to splash into the mailbox causing the pen to fall to the ground. After that, the old man who was drinking coffee bent down to pick it up. It surprised the bicyclist and lost the steering wheel, crashed into the counter and caused a commotion. Meanwhile, a bus arrived and the bus driver was distracted and led to an accident.
Thanks for reading.
alexanderfinn
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Re: Please check my pagagraph about the plot of the criminal genius

Post by alexanderfinn »

May I suggest a few changes? I have capitalised them here to make them clear.


Have you ever thought that a ballpoint pen could KILL? It is a ridiculous THOUGHT, but It happened . The criminal SAW everything that WAS happening on the STREET. He SAW a woman giving money to a beggar and buying flowers ON her way to work. He PUT HIS PLAN INTO ACTION by putting a ballpoint pen into the mailbox, WHICH started a chain reaction. First, A car ran through A puddle causing water to splash into the mailbox, IN TURN causing the pen to fall to the ground. After that, AN old man who was drinking coffee bent down to pick it up. THIS surprised A CYCLIST and lost CONTROL OF HIS BICYCLE, crashed into the counter and caused a commotion. Meanwhile, a bus arrived and the DRIVER was SO distracted THAT IT led to an accident.
Mr Greg
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Re: Please check my pagagraph about the plot of the criminal genius

Post by Mr Greg »

Have you ever considered the notion that a ballpoint pen could be the cause of someone's demise? It may seem like an absurd thought, but it has actually happened. In this peculiar incident, a criminal meticulously observed every detail of what was transpiring on the road. His attention was drawn to a woman who, on her way to work, generously gave money to a beggar and purchased flowers.

The criminal initiated his nefarious scheme by surreptitiously placing a ballpoint pen inside a mailbox. Remarkably, this seemingly insignificant act set off a chain reaction. As fate would have it, a car drove through a puddle, causing water to splash into the mailbox and ultimately dislodging the pen, which fell to the ground. An elderly man, engrossed in enjoying his cup of coffee, happened to notice the fallen pen and instinctively bent down to retrieve it. This sudden movement startled a passing cyclist, causing them to lose control of their bike, collide with a nearby counter, and incite a state of chaos.

Meanwhile, amidst the unfolding events, a bus arrived at the scene. Unfortunately, the bus driver, distracted by the commotion, became momentarily unfocused, leading to a regrettable accident.
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rafikgo
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Re: Please check my pagagraph about the plot of the criminal genius

Post by rafikgo »

Wow, what a mind-bending plot! It's a testament to your creativity and storytelling skills that you managed to make such a mundane object the center of such a thrilling and suspenseful narrative.
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