Problem child in my class

[twinklesonavi]

Hi there....I am an English teacher in a preschool in Japan. I have a problem child in my class who is 3years old. I don't say she is stubborn, because...she does get along with other japanese teachers, but not with me. May be, because, I am a gaijin(foreigner) and don't look like those Japanese. I am having really hard time with that child. She is always clings to the Japanese teacher who is a co-teacher in my class. Last week, my co-teacher was absent and she was absolutely fine, didn't cry and was active through out the day, but the very next day, she is the same kind of hanging on to the teacher....she hates me very badly. I am really sad by her behaviour. I tried to speak to her very politely, made funny things to please her..at that moment she laughs, but suddenly, she just pushes me away. Next month, my co-teacher is going to quit so I am worried how to tackle this problem...I have also told this problem to my co-teachr but, she hasn't taken it seriously. Any advice from you people????

[Seafarer]

Honestly, that is a difficult situation. As far as i'm concerned, you really like your job and you want everything to be perfect. She looks like an obstacle on your way to become a perfect teacher. But, i think you can't expect every kid to like you:) Maybe the more you get interested in her, the more she is disturbed. Kids are really hard to understand. Isn't there a kids psychologist in the place where u work? They are really helpful about these matters. The reason may be something really tiny... something that you have never realized...

[twinklesonavi]

Honestly, that is a difficult situation. As far as i'm concerned, you really like your job and you want everything to be perfect. She looks like an obstacle on your way to become a perfect teacher. But, i think you can't expect every kid to like you:) Maybe the more you get interested in her, the more she is disturbed. Kids are really hard to understand. Isn't there a kids psychologist in the place where u work? They are really helpful about these matters. The reason may be something really tiny... something that you have never realized...

Thank you very much for your suggestions. Now, she much better than earlier...What I did was completely ignored her when she didn't listen to me, and then she came to me by herself for help. So, now she is far better than before. When she becomes stubborn, I just ignore her and start talking to others kids, and she comes to me automatically...Kids are really difficult to understand...

[sweets]

i think u should talk to her parents and never give up :) how about using new ways as bring her a candy if answer correcetly :) and try to have her attention in some activities that she likes :D .

and maybe when co-teacher is there she starts to comapre that he familiar shpape to her and ur not cuz. ur not jappiness which makes her when she saw both of u tends to him/her more :|

this is my opinion about this case :)

cheeeeeeeeers

[twinklesonavi]

i think u should talk to her parents and never give up :) how about using new ways as bring her a candy if answer correcetly :) and try to have her attention in some activities that she likes :D .

and maybe when co-teacher is there she starts to comapre that he familiar shpape to her and ur not cuz. ur not jappiness which makes her when she saw both of u tends to him/her more :|

this is my opinion about this case :)

cheeeeeeeeers

I appreciate your suggestion. First of all, we are not allowed to give any candies or any food of our own to the kids. That's the school rule. And secondly, I can not talk to parents because, they don't understand English and I can't speak Japanese, and more than that, my co-teacher doesn't understand that it's a problem, she says Japanese kids are like that. It will take time for them to adjust. So I just ignored that problem. I think my co-teacher was right, now she(the kid) talks to me. She is improving slowly compared to before, so I am happy now.

[sweets]

well
it's good that the girl is improving and good luck to you :D

[Seafarer]

I wish that i could see any kind of improvement of the kids in my school! You are lucky that u witness such an improvement

[nemo]

hi...
yeah..i agree that this is a very difficult situations.What do you meas with you are foreigner?. From my personal view, the children have bad impression with you. she don't know you and maybe you don't know him......i'm not saying that you have to know him deeply. I think enough with you know hat her favourite...background and anything that you think relevant with you.....
then...i think that the child have problem with her background....maybe from her family. She needs attention and she have done to you is just a sign that she want you to know and asking what she want....huh...we don't know children language....

[Zooboy]

Dear Twinkle,

I support the idea of approaching the parents of the problem kid.
In fact, I had a similar situation before, and after some efforts of settling the matter at school didn't seem to succeed, I used a less formal approach.

I would suggest, even that now situation has improved, that you build a better off-school relationship with the problem child as well as with her parents, as long as the culture allows it. For instance, if the culture doesn't see being visited by a gaijin is a shame...

If you really get the chance to be among her and her family at their home, do not forget that you must give them the impression that you are not present there as Twinkle the sensei ..... instead, be there as a friend. Simple stuff like candies, your family photos and stuff like that you can bring in to break the ice. Get the host family, especially the problem girl, to be interested in the items you bring.
Then, depending on your personality,... there may be certain degree of "sacrifice" you can do , such as ... you make mistakes in using chopsticks at the dinner table and the host family laugh at it,.. or the origami crane they are teaching you end up like an ugly duckling,.. or things like that. I, myself, wouldn't mind all these. I like making people happy (and I know, doing the abovementioned examples do not cost that much)

When I had the similar situation last time (at an Australian primary school), I was quite lucky that I happened to attend the same church as the one my problem student and her family attended. So,.. meeting them at church tea after service turned out to be a very useful, fruitful and appropriate approach. It was quite easy for me to relate to them, tomake an appointment/ arrangement to meet the family at their home.

I hope these ideas can help improve the situation.

Don't forget to keep us updated about the progress, okay? I'm sure we will be happy to read both case and solution.

Good luck!

zooboy

[Tim Cahill]

Your situation is quite familiar to me. I have already met similar cases more than once, since I myself work as a teacher. Although I am a teacher, there were serious problems with teaching my child. I spent most of my life working, that's my profession. The child stayed at home and did nothing in my absence. And on the nose was the day of knowledge and I didn't know what to do, because he was in elementary school. After sitting on the Internet, I came across the website wunderkiddy, which later helped me with the child.

https://wunderkiddy.com/worksheet/christmas-2

When I left for work, I left him materials from this site and to my surprise, he studied them himself. After a couple of weeks, he was more than ready.

[Mr Greg]

In my experiences, don't push the kid to like you, focus on the class.

As a male kindergarten teacher, it can be quite hard for the early years to adjust to having not only a foreign teacher, but a male one as well. I stick to being myself, showing the whole class my personality. It doesn't change from child to child.

They will grow to you, it takes time. The transitional phase can take months.