my student's essay ,please help to check

[zzclcn]

Hello everyone! As a part-time English teacher in a Chinese school, I often mark English compositions for my students. As my native language is Chinese, I hope to get your help here. In return, I'm happy to help you learn Chinese.


The following is a composition of my student, please help to see if there are any mistakes:


If I Could Have Lunch With Bill Gates

I’d like to have lunch with Bill Gates because he is the founder of Microsoft.
Microsoft Windows is important to us. It is used by almost 90% of desktop and other computers.

First We will discuss ideas about the new Windows' version.
If time permits, I will ask him some questions about global warming and AI.
At the end of lunch, I want to ask him an interesting question:” Did you copy Steve Jobs or did he copy you?”

I’m expecting this lunch already.

[Joe]

Hello everyone! As a part-time English teacher in a Chinese school, I often mark English compositions for my students. As my native language is Chinese, I hope to get your help here. In return, I'm happy to help you learn Chinese.


The following is a composition of my student, please help to see if there are any mistakes:


If I Could Have Lunch With Bill Gates

I’d like to have lunch with Bill Gates because he is the founder of Microsoft.
Microsoft Windows is important to us. It is used by almost 90% of desktop and other computers.

First We will discuss ideas about the new Windows' version.
If time permits, I will ask him some questions about global warming and AI.
At the end of lunch, I want to ask him an interesting question:” Did you copy Steve Jobs or did he copy you?”

I’m expecting this lunch already.

If I Could Have Lunch With Bill Gates

I’d like to have lunch with Bill Gates because he is the founder of Microsoft.
Microsoft Windows is important to us. It is used by almost 90% of desktop and other computers.

First we will discuss ideas about the new Windows version.
If time permits, I will ask him some questions about global warming and AI.
At the end of lunch, I want to ask him an interesting question: "Did you copy Steve Jobs or did he copy you?"

I’m expecting this lunch already.

[zzclcn]

thanks a lot!